I understand that the following may expose me as the not-so-hipster not-one-of-the-cool-kids girl that I am, but I don’t care. It simply has to be said.
Please, please, please, stop sagging your skinny jeans. Please.
I understand that skinny jeans have persevered through fad status and general unflatteringness to become a remarkably lasting trend. I understand that boys in tight jeans have a certain rocker appeal, and that some girls with remarkably low body fat actually look quite appealing in them. I get that they’re convenient to tuck into boots, or wear under tunics, or just look all Ashlee and Pete’d out. But for the love of God, people, don’t sag them.
Sagging your skinny jeans does every wrong thing possible for the human body. Lately, it seems I am surrounded by assless, carmel-apple shaped teens and twenties, in acid wash no less, who look as though they’ve forgotten to do laundry and had to borrow their ten year old brother’s pants for the day. It’s the ultimate in cruel fashion – cruel to those of us on the sidelines, and to the fairly decent figure of the poor sucker with the crotch of his denim leggings suctioning his knees together.
You know the scene in Mary Poppins where Dick van Dyke is dancing with the penguins and pulls his pants down to waddle? THAT’S WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE! Only less goofy and Dick van Dykey charming and just basically more dumb.
Commit any other fashion crimes you need to. Wear your mini skirts and Ugg boots with pride, bring back the worst of the eighties with your flourescent yellow and crimped side pony. Live in velour jumpsuits. But for God’s sake, people, for ALL of our sakes, please… pull them up. Just pull them up.