(right, so, if this doesn’t make sense to you, don’t worry about it. Sometimes the interwebs get the better of me.)
T’was eight days before Christmas, and all through the house
I had thrown seven dresses, two tops, and a blouse
I’d established the fact I had nothing to wear
And Shannon could not do a thing with her hair
The beer had been purchased, and our bags were packed
With a fair contribution of holiday snacks
But she, in her curlers, and I, in my robe
Were, as usual, stumped by the issue of clothes
“What the heck is it with parties these days?
Once again the dress code is decidedly vague
According to this, I must dress like a slob
To escape the harsh judgment of someone’s friend Robb”
“Who spells Robb with two Bs?” Shannon wanted to know
This wasn’t quite helpful. We needed to go.
“Do you still have that Evite?” I asked of my friend
“I think it might help us. Let’s read it again.
Alright, no ugly sweaters, and no stupid gifts
A signature cocktail? How swanky is this?
They got some new trash cans, and Amber is baking
Sounds like one heckuva night in the making
But the part about dress code is quite sad and dire
A comfortable outfit, or cocktail attire?
How more very opposite can two things be?
Shannon just sighed, and looked sideways at me.
“You know, we would not be in this lousy quandary
If all of our black shirts weren’t still in the laundry”
I’m not sure how the rest of this story will go
We may show up in jeans, or in satin and bows
You may feel you should mock us: “How hard can it be?
You just put on an outfit and drive down the street.”
And sure, it’s quite easy to live by that credo
If you happen to own a corduroy tuxedo.
But fit throwing isn’t the proper behavior
When joining to celebrate our Lord and Savior
We would like to accept your most kind invitation,
Dress up and come over for snacks and libations
(I’d like to point out that this poem’s almost done
And I haven’t yet once hit the shift key and 1)
And there truthfully isn’t much we’d rather do
Than spend one of our evenings kickin’ it with you
So if our outfits are awesome or give you a fright
Merry Christmas to all… we’ll see you Friday night.